The story of one character’s trip across the wastes…

Imagine for a moment – a book that writes itself. All you would need to be is that character, be placed in that world, have it be an interesting setting that you can interact with on many levels, and the ‘story’ would flow from that point. Fallout 3 is that ‘book’. Sure, you can follow the quests (whether main or side), but you don’t have to - there is tons to see and do aside from that. You might still stumble into the occasional quest that starts suddenly, but you can always back off – no one is forcing you do it, or even complete them.

I have played quite a bit of Fallout 3, and I suppose now is a good time for a review, although – maybe a bit late. I have also played Fallout 3 as a “good guy”, “bad gal” and a “neutral guy.” Bear in mind, I have had no experience with previous Fallout games, so I will not be making any sour whining noises about that, and how ‘it does not meet my sex fantasy expectations of what a dream game needs to be’ – blah, blah, blah.

Backdrop
Fallout 3 is a wasteland, filled with blowing sand and burning seeps, radioactive areas that are dangerous, leaking barrels killing or damaging the unwary. There are also lots of rocks, big shelves and walls, caverns, & cliffs to sneak around or get to the top of so as to see better, to get a vantage point or just protect your back. Many buildings are rubble, others you can explore. It just takes investigation, and curiosity – and sometimes that’s half the fun.

The story’s backdrop, we have all heard about – 1950 science fiction nuclear aftermath. Giant radiated movie ants and roaches, and even a mini game of ‘whack a mole’ (short – part of a quest, pound 10 moles with a stick). Everything that seems like debris adds ambiance, is dangerous or, is something actually useful – if you can just find out for what. But there is plenty of funny 1950′s childhood retro fear here on tap, so feel free to enjoy it. Typically, (for me) 1st person view was the most fun to play in, but I tried 3rd person too, as it is good for running and skipping sneaking all the time, which does eat up a lot of REAL time by the way.

Similarities
Also, I have taken the time and looked previous fallout games over somewhat, and can see there are differences, such as what monsters didn’t make the cut, number of weapons, plot, perspective of play (1st/3rd, overhead) and other various nuance. Granted, Bethesda does have a certain way of doing things, and Fallout 3 is a fine example of that style. I would not say that it is “Oblivion with guns” because that game had a lot of sword-based ‘club-bashing’ of monsters. Not like real swordplay, but kind of. If you play Fallout 3 in that way (melee) you will probably have a similar experience, play wise. Other similarities include dialog interaction with NPC’s, as that is identical.

A final similarity would be ‘dungeons’ that look increasingly similar to each other after about 40 – 50 hours or so. This game at least leaves the player with a better rational of why opponent characters are in those areas, but not always. “dungeon” areas begin to all look a lot alike after awhile though, and that is part of what brings on a sense of boredom, along with similar monsters being there, and similar various stuff to collect. Once one hits the level 20 cap it’s pretty much dullsville incorporated, unless you start really toying with the game.

Many folks complained about travel in STALKER, as anywhere you wanted to go it was walking. Well, the same applies here, with an exception that once you have been there, you can always fast travel back to shortcut your time to a mere load screen. There are dangers, of course, like the occasional enemy in the immediate area who jumps you, but that does not always happen. This is also a similarity with Oblivion and Morrowind, although Morrowind referred to it as “teleporting.”

Gameplay
Game play is not at all like your typical shooter, except the barest comparison. Most FPS games (Halo, COD for example) have enemies that attack in hordes, and are all very twitch based, meaning – your reflexes and quick aiming ability account for much of ‘actual gun skill.’ Not so here, as Fallout is an RPG, so you play a character that must learn to use guns (or whatever) just like in real life, and that takes time to master. While this can leave something to be desired at some levels, by level 20 you will have a pretty tough character. So, although you might get some armor, you will be relying on health packs and good old fashioned brains to fight most of your battles.

This of course, brings up what is so very great about Fallout 3 – it is no cheesy hallway run, where your only reward is some ammo, or finishing the game. You can attack from many, many different directions, and possibilities exist for one who is strategic, creative and patient. Wide open spaces means maybe you can attack from above, below, either side, with an enlisted follower, by setting traps, sneaking, head on, big guns, small guns, melee, or even leading a different enemy into their ranks by trickery. “Dungeons” (buildings, caves, metros, etc.) are not so different, as finding an enemy to trick into attacking them isn’t always available, yet do often have turrets that you can hack and manipulate to your own ends. It’s a rare game where you can be truly devious in an attack.

What else is different from a typical FPS? To start, there is food. There is many, many types of food, and drink. (I have found more than 4 types of booze already… and it can have good effects and bad, that are useful… but risky…). Food like: Squirrel stew, iguana on a stick, iguana bits, insta mash, mirelurk cakes, sugar bombs, to name but a few (so, squirrels survived?). All help your health, and add a bit of radiation (except for a few). Not exactly damage, but it will be over the long term, if you get enough of it (500 rads or so). Food helps your health when you are shot up, as can many other things like water (dirty or purified) but it takes quite a bit if you are really shot up. Stimpacks are more like healthpacks – for ‘no radiation’ health, and there is an area in the interface/Pipboy where you must add it to limbs, head and/or torso too, when you get really shot up and become crippled. You can easily choose which, and, stimpack effectiveness is delivered by medicine skill level.

Junk, weapons & skills
Junk in Fallout 3 can be used to build things if you possess an appropriate schematic, using about 4 items of what could only be considered crap, you can make something of worth (a weapon) that can be used, repaired or sold. Small gun skills are very useful, as is repair, because ammo is hard to come by, as weapons have damage levels that repairing them will increase, which adds effectiveness. Big guns do great damage, but are harder to come by, and use ammo up quick. All ammo has NO weight, so you could always collect it anyway and just sell it. Small guns are plentiful, and have more of a sniper aspect, whereas big guns require more personal exposure for lesser accuracy, and sometimes take awhile to “wind up”.

Melee weapons can be a hardship. because not all enemies get in your face – some either run away, or stand off at a distance and peck at you or just rail gun you. Some love to throw grenades at you too. Try advancing on a robot with a flame-thrower and you will see where the sneak skill and a stealthboy (temporary invisibility) comes into play. So, obviously, unarmored fists can be a challenge too. The game has a particular level of hardship from around level 5 to about level 8, not sure why, but it gets really tough. If it gets too tough for you, well, just use the interface and set it easy mode, ya crybaby whiner. I suppose that is the part of the game where they teach you about “running away.” (Do I get experience points for that?)

Repair skill is a very worthy skill to have. Not only does it help you keep a weapon working well, it brings it to a maximum damage efficiency (according to your skill). It is also good because you can do field repair when needed (if you have another weapon or armor like it with you, it works by combining two similar items), and that also saves weight and makes the items you carry worth more… that is, less to haul back to sell.

There are many, many guns, assuming you have the skill to use them… sniper rifle, hunting rifle, assault rifle, SMG, shotgun, flamethrower, minigun, gatling gun, missile launcher, railspike, minikuke, various ‘nades, mines and some ‘homemade’ stuff. (really nasty stuff) But, not something you would want to waste, (made from junk you find). Oblivion made you work at becoming skilled at something, and here – you just assign points for ‘surviving’ to the next level, as it is all automatic. Much of the junk you found there was just that. Junk.

Luck has a part to play in creating a character, but it is a subtle thing. Where Strength allows more weight to be carried, and power (like punching), Perception means you detect enemies earlier than they do you, if it is high enough. Endurance affects health (hit points) amount, Charisma seems to have almost no effect, except in quests with speech and challenges. Intelligence affects number of skill points at level up, Agility affects how many points you get in VATS. All of those give bonuses if high, and supposedly actually affect your character in tangible ways (like Agility effects movement) but I have not seen that in all of them. So, in this way, Fallout 3 departs from Morrowind and Oblivion in a major way. Luck, as I have observed, might effect battles and hits, but I have experienced something else… more intriguing. Luck affected what my enemies went through to get to me once it was high enough. Funny as heck to watch, too.

Case in point: When my luck was low, I had many encounters with Talon merc’s, and they were always waiting for me, outside some doorway or on the other side of some entrance or exit. When my luck became a 9, I noticed a subtle shift of them getting reamed by other enemies long before they ever got near me. Poor idiots. So, Luck did change game play quite a bit, but bear in mind – I was sneaking at the time.

Sneak skill is also a mixed bag…I mean to say, many enemies will not see you sneaking in the dark, but many still will. It helps some, but it will not make you invisible to all. I have seen the entire wasteland, and made plenty of effort sneaking around enemies I didn’t want to deal with. It’s a mixed bag. Sometimes I could sneak past, sometimes I ran like a chicken, sometimes they saw me, sometimes one brutal shot convinced them it just wasn’t worth it.

Perks & VATS
Certain perks are good if taken right away, like Educated and Comprehension. You will probably find at least 35 books…so, double the points will be nice, as there are about 300 to find. Perks have been discussed in many other reviews, and so has character building, so I will dwell on other things. Weight, for example, and how you much can carry, is based on Strength (even average). my character is a 6 strength, so I can carry 210 lbs, which is a large amount of stuff early on. For ‘ease of use’ reasons, ammo weighs nothing, as do many ‘drugs’ and a few other items. Drugs that boost health, boost damage, intellect, perception, charisma and other needs to ‘get ‘er done’. Typically very addictive, of course.

VATS is interesting, and several perks make it FAR more useful. Initially, it might feel like a cheat when you hit an enemy in the face several times and all they do is flinch, or you just plain magically miss. It is more effective at close ranges (later in the game – medium range too) but you will still spend plenty of time finding ways to ‘interact directly’, say, with a grenade or land mine. Some enemies will also recognize a land mine when they see it – so be prepared, not all Scorpions are dumb as a brick.

A.I.
AI isn’t bad – I have found that enemies will sometimes chicken out and run off when attacked, and some will flank the long way, showing up unexpectedly. They also often change their mind about running away. Keep in mind that the game will be very gruesome and gory, perk or no perk. Generally, any AI is on patrol of an area; which isn’t so bad, as many animals are territorial and do about the same. Scorpions are a ‘get in your face’ type, like raiders, only really fast. Centaurs are a bit slower. Although many enemies are ‘in your face’, like Oblivion, some are not, some flank, some retreat… you will see varied differences in speed, approach and handling. Some enemies hate fire, others hate plasma, some hate melee, some are armored, some are perceptive. It takes awhile to figure out what’s best for who, but just about anything works by level 20.

Animation
Some animations in the game are not great, as Oblivion’s animations were not bad, per say – but there were times when a dog trying to go down a hill just wasn’t able to do it on the slope. So, the walk staggered the drop, looking very, very fake, dropping 3 or four feet at a time just to go down the slope (invisible stairway!). Well, dogs here have the ‘stagger’ too. Aside from any battles – your dog can just “sit and stay” if that is what you wish. But, he also runs off and finds crap if you ask, like chems, guns, ammo, etc…which does make him quite useful. I lost my dog – was too greedy I suppose. I sent him off to get stuff when I didn’t need it one too many times. Eventually, he did return, but it seemed like forever – I thought he was long dead. Also, sometimes stuff floats, (like chairs, tables, etc.) and enemies will float away (rare, but it happens).

The animations in the beginning of the game are just horrible. The vault had characters without expressions, and they basically just stood around, and some animations look, well – cheesy. All in all it’s not reason to abandon the game, but sometimes it just doesn’t cut it and can be jarring. “Oh, yeah – video game”. Sometimes the AI is ‘ice skating’ when off in the distance. but, But, Oblivion has that too. There are better physics to make up for all of shortfalls, I suppose. And, you don’t see enemies facing the other direction when they shoot at you, like say, in GRAW. Add to problems – the ‘occasional’ texture pop in when you turn your head to look another direction. It slowly fills, and looks strange. I have experienced a few other weird glitches that were video related, but I reloaded and they went away.

The “vault” aspects sort of left me with a “what do I do?” feeling, but – eventually, I would just save and experiment. Interestingly, it put me well on my way to “vault martyr”. I did dig around some, and steal as much as I could before I left (lets see other martyrs try that!). After leaving the vault, I finally found Megaton…which was also slow. Even tried to bang the hooker, but it seemed like all she did was relieve me of my caps (money). I didn’t even hear any fun noises. Irritated, I reloaded the game file, and did something else. I was just curious anyway, but could get the same treatment from someone at J-lube.

Something you might want to try – and that is sneak. Not only does it give critical damage if enemies are not aware of you, but it also allows to to listen in on conversations you might not normally hear enemies make. Some of them are hilarious to be sure. I recall tossing some ‘nades down onto some raiders who couldn’t locate me, and one said “Oh, SHIT!” Then the grenade exploded, and he groaned. His buddy replied “You deserved it, dumbass.” I just about laughed myself ill on that one. Super mutant conversations are also somewhat entertaining…

Assessment
So. The ‘Oblivion’ trees are gone, and so are long load times. There is still loading, but it is shorter, and the frame rate (at least on a 360) is pretty decent, especially when installed to the hard drive. Very little water to be seen, maybe a river and a few radioactive ponds. So, I have seen the entire wasteland, and it is a big place. I finished the main quests and side quests, but I see a 200 hour game potential if one is in no hurry, however, the main quest will probably tap at about 15-20 hours, max. For $60 or so you can go out and write your own (although imperfect) adventure,…. so, what’s stopping you?

———————

With all of that in mind, here is an example of the book that I mean, in my own words, following my actions, early on in my game. Your experience will likely be quite different (I mean, aside from the shooting – but hey, you can always run away).

My characters story….
I headed off into the wastes looking for some adventure, and a scrap. I pointed myself via one of the little arrows on the compass, just to see how the feature worked. Checking my map, I had been to a few of them. But one steered me to an old broken freeway overpass, and from my concealed rock-ledge perch, I saw some raiders at the entrance of the overpass, and so I snuck along a lower rock line so as to not be seen in my ambush. I crept right up to the side of it, keeping low, to the overpass edge. Suddenly – one of them heard my steps – but, my back was covered, and so was my right flank. Hidden from my view, she came along the wall, turned and ran up to me in the open with a bat, and I let her get in close and – BLAM! - shotgun says no way.

This alerted another raider, and he came running with an assault rifle – big mistake – he also got in too close, and my shotgun said so. This in turn alerted another raider (or – already was) who ran up with a knife. Well, you know what they say, ‘bring a knife to gunfight’, and all that. I crept up the bridge after resupplying via their ammo cans. I figured that higher on the overpass was a probably great place for a guy with a sniper rifle.

I got up a ways, and daybreak began to dawn, a bit too quick for my tastes, breaking cover, I ran up to a big semi truck to grab for use as protection, but was seen. Poor Mr. Ballbat didn’t have a chance. BOOM! Another raider tried to flank me left, and – hey – I was right! He had a sniper rifle. Didn’t do him much good, I forced him into a close up scuffle, and shotgun beats sniper at 4 feet any day. I saved, took a few steps and saw more raiders up ahead. One came running with a flame thrower, one with a bat, one with a knife. I set a mine and threw a grenade – somehow, the flame thrower guy skirted around, but the other guys got mowed. He cornered me next to the truck, and had just enough distance where I was getting real cooked, as he was real quick with that fire tosser. Yeeouch!!!

Taking damage, I threw 2 more ‘nades – the first one killed him, the second was a waste. Then, the supposedly protective truck next to me exploded, damn near killing me. Dang! I forgot about that. I had just one little health bar left – I was almost dead, heart pounding in my ears.

Curious, I reloaded my game and tried it differently. I ran up quickly and set a mine right at a pile of planks that crossed a collapsed section of the overpass, where ‘Ol flamey would be forced to cross. He saw me, and I tossed a grenade, which missed. I threw another, it also missed. He hit the mine, and that was a big boom – body parts flew everywhere. Yuck!

But… the other guys were gone! I couldn’t figure it. I looked around, and thought… hmmm… wonder if the force of the grenade blast knocked them off the bridge… ??? I walked back across, and down under the bridge and searched where I thought they might be. I found one – obviously the fall killed her. I never did locate the other guy. Poor rat bastige.

Got me another sniper rifle tho, and a number of rounds. Ugh. What a mess.
–

So there’s this fantastic new site you’ve just GOT to check out! It’s called Damn Short Stories , and it’s a combination of a personal blog and a Short Story site. It has a very interesting angle in that it focuses on stories that are only one page long, with the goal of presenting a high level of polish in the space of that one page. OK, OK, you caught me: it’s my site. While on occasion I’ve posted a personal blog or two here at the Ugly Baby Studios team site (sorry guys), from now on all my personal work and story work will appear on that site instead.

 As you might expect I will continue to provide news and reviews pertaining to the games industry via this site, and–oh yes, I nearly forgot to tell you: we’ll be having an announcement soon about a project we’re working on. It’s got me very excited, and I hope it will get you riled up a bit too!

Don’t forget: Damn Short Stories Dot Com !

It is now 4 days and 7 hours since my father passed away. As is always the case, more of reality has emerged and more facts revealed than anyone could have guessed, perhaps except for me, because I finally understood my father years ago. It’s that understanding that drove me away from him, and it’s that understanding that, I hear, now illuminates for others why I walked away.

It’s the end of a man to whom I desperately tried to connect as a child, and haven’t really even spoken to in 10 years. It’s not completely true, of course, the 10 year bit. I spoke to him for about 3 hours this past Christmas. I spoke to him two hours ago as my sister held the phone to his ear in the hospital as he lay in a coma, dying.

What did I say? I don’t know if I can remember it exactly. Ever since I was a child I can remember him telling me how he would be dead in a year or two. I lived in fear of that moment for most of my childhood, and I clung to every thread I could find in the desperate hope that he would hold as much concern as I did for him in those days. He never did, of course. There’s no sense in romanticizing the reality, pretending he loved me to death in his own way. He really didn’t. I think that what he felt for me was resentment, and it showed in his actions. It showed in the way he knocked me senseless time and again. It showed in the black eyes, the bloody lips and the broken nose. It showed in how he conspired with my son’s bipolar psychotic mother to keep my own son from me while he simultaneously arranged to visit with him behind my back.

My father did not love me, not in the way fathers are supposed to love their sons, not in the way I loved mine. Not the way other dads love their sons. I accept this reality because what the hell else am I supposed to do? I know, I know: I’m supposed to pretend his was a life of sublime beauty and affection, that he was a great hero or some such nonsense. I can’t do that, though, because I’m not willing to lie about it. My father was, and I don’t enjoy this fact, a bastard. He had issues, not the least of which were drug problems that recurred throughout his life even after he’d struggled to get off of them. He was bitter and angry at everyone and everything. I feel parts of that inside me, and I struggle to overcome it because as much as this world pisses me off at times, I don’t want to spend my entire life feeling pissed off. Sometimes I can’t escape it and I hate the fact that part of him has managed to remain alive inside of me.

What did I say? It’s almost surreal. I almost don’t believe it because…he was always dying, to hear him tell it. It was always just a short ways off, that dreaded end at which I would not know what to do. He was the boy who cried wolf for the last 30 years of my life, and somewhere along the way I just stopped believing the story. Of course, that’s the moral of the story isn’t it? Cry wolf for too long and nobody will believe you when the wolf really does come home to roost. Yeah, that’s a mixed metaphor, but just try to picture a wolf with one of those dangly red things under its chin. It may be ridiculous, but at least it’s sort of funny.

So what, in the end, did I say? I said the only thing that made any sense to me. I told him he was a bastard and that he pushed all of his kids and family away. I told him that I’m sorry his life was so fucked up and that it was ending this way. I told him that I don’t believe in an afterlife, but that if there is indeed such a thing I hope that he finds a place of peace and understanding. I told him that even though he wasn’t much of a father, I forgive him, and I love him anyway.

A part of me feels like I should have called more often or sooner of late. But mostly, I think I said what I had to say, and he was still breathing when I said it. We could debate endlessly and fruitlessly about whether he heard or understood me, and either side of the argument has valid points to be made. I don’t know for sure, but I do believe he heard and understood me. It wasn’t long after I talked to him that his brain function
began to shut down, and about an hour later he finally died. About an hour and ten minutes ago, in fact; it is 11:53 AM on September 2^nd, 2008, and he died at 10:42 AM Pacific Time.

I don’t really believe in heaven or hell, and God, if you’re reading this, I don’t really believe in you either. But on the off chance that any of it is real at all, I hope very much that my dad is able to find the peace and understanding that he never found in life. I hope that he will be able to release the anger inside of him. I hope that I will be able to release that angry part of him that still lives inside of me, because goodness knows that doesn’t need to survive to another generation. I hope that he finds whatever forgiveness is out there to be found, and not because he particularly deserves it, but because he really needs it.

And maybe I do too.

FPS games try to create “Artificial Intelligence” but, in general, do a very lousy job of faking the experience. Although F.E.A.R. goes farther than most, the main concept is still “creating the illusion of intelligence” (via sound cues) not by actually making an intelligence simulation.

HALO

Halo did a fair job of of getting a bit closer, as even a tiny insect will exhibit a reaction of fear when threatened. In order to better fake an ‘AI’, one would need to analyze (and exhibit) many ‘intellect-like’ behaviors, including audio cues for behavior when the AI gets in a ‘buggy’ loop and begins acting odd (such as a shell shocked repeating of some funny phrase to at least add humor when stuck in a movement loop). After all, humans can forgive some very odd behavior, if it makes us laugh.

Fear
During Halo, It felt very real to players for the grunts to chicken out and run away, and it was also very funny. Anybody taking a few bullets would not ‘just keep coming’ when they were obviously losing – they would run or at least take cover. Retreating when hurt is not an unusual behavior; although – typical AI avoids this by always pressing on and making a direct path to the player (thereby piling up bodies, stupidly). Consider even a ‘small’ intellect (such as a bug) has more to do during a standard day than most of us believe, as the search for food can be time consuming, and require some thinking outside the box for a creative solution, which FPS ‘AI’ has no method of delivering. ‘AI’ does not ask questions, or arrive at conclusions based upon possibilities, it does not generally even review a few options (such as turning over stones or leaves to find food). It is strictly “if this = then that” in a chain of procedure, which, after a small amount of time appears very predictable – especially in a fight. GRAW, anyone?

One would think someone trying to simulate an ‘AI’ would at minimum study various wasps & spiders and their predatory natures. Maybe I am fighting military units, but all in all – the predatory aspects are what we are taking about, along with defensive, military or not. An AI might flank me, but again, – it never felt like they outsmarted me – it always feels like they can ‘see me’ through virtual walls…. because of the way it happened. Most AI these days might even take cover, maybe scratch their butts – but they fail in too many areas; behaviors which most animals and insects exhibit. Wikipedia, BTW, defines the ‘testing of intelligence’ (birds) as ‘based on studying the responses to sensory stimuli.’

Inter-communication
Many animals have predatory calls. That is – communication between 2 or more creatures to confuse prey, and let each other know what they are up to. Typical FPS games make the mistake of generating information only for the players sake, which tends to dampen realism. Although informative, and helping in gameplay, Half-life 2 did go some distance with this, (Hunters) but they did not carry it as far as it might be, as typical FPS’s use this in varied (if very limited) respects, although, more to warn players that there is an enemy, rather than to identify an enemy with intellect, and create fear in the player, due to feeling hunted themselves.

Distraction
Certain predatory birds (for example) use teamwork while hunting in pairs; and they have been observed as using a “bait and switch” technique, where one bird will distract the prey while the other moves in for the kill. What is missing in typical FPS games is the feeling like (we) the player are the prey when we go up against many enemies. Specifically, there is simply no current method to challenge an army (or platoon) solo without being superhuman, which would imply (realistically speaking) massive superiority (like godhood) or even cheating. So, typically, we will still feel like we are superior and that we are the predator. We do not get smart enemies to fear or dread, we instead get hulking 900 hit (do it exactly right!) arcade action bosses left over from Robotron, or some other 80′s arcade game. The other offer is of course, the typical onslaught of ‘bots numbering in the thousands, to generate some form of victorious feelings on our part in a ‘close up fight’. Yet, at some point, we may even ask ourselves if, after some improved physics and graphics, “what has really changed – beyond the first person perspective?”

Basically – the focus of the typical FPS game is so narrowly aimed at the ‘quick action payoff’, that any genuine “AI” gets bypassed for the sake of ‘action.’ There are no real tactics necessary, as quick pacing forces players to funnel through corridor rat mazes “to get the cheese” makes quick deaths of what might have been smart AI – so, ‘why bother?’ In other words – we instead receive 10,000 ‘AI’ bots that are dumb as a rock in an steady onslaught, (which makes them seem difficult and challenging, i.e. – ‘smart’) instead of 20 tactical brains that made us really think our way through a fight, and even derive some benefit aside from a spastic wrist.

Soon, crazy people will be hitting the streets.

(UPI) The Government has reported in a national warning, “All of our public use loony bins are now full”, as told by a top official, Ima N. Ocrasi. Ms. Ocrasi went on to say: “Most soft walled bins only hold about 10-20 people, maximum. It’s not like the old days when you could forcefully stuff in several hundred. We now have fire regulations to observe.” The bins, which by law are expected to allow some minor comforts of life for the modern loon, are equipped with all sorts of modern luxuries, such as easily smearing Gov’t cheese, televisions and automated medication dispensers; oddly enough looking not too different from modern work cubes, but with far, far more luxury.

“Now that the Government bins are full we will need to find other locations, and seek other resources to place individuals who lack the ability to ‘function normally’ in our oblivious, nutball society. Currently, we are considering electoral options, as we have previously utilized this method with a specific individual on a 8 year trial basis.” Said Ms. Ocrasi.

Libertarian host John Ziegler, who for 4 years has been a highly outspoken voice in the cause of free speech and free thought, has been silenced. Details haven’t been divulged beyond John stating that the decision was “Mutual ” between himself and radio station KFI AM640. While not directly an advocate expressly for the rights of gamers, Ziegler often commented on the absurdity of the notion that games cause people to go out and kill others.

At the risk of sounding the alarm bell of a conspiracy, my suspicion is that far too many corrupt Democrats and Republicans were putting pressure on the station to get rid of Ziegler, who was unilateral in his willingness to lambast, pan and attack any politician who evidenced his desire to curtail free speech of ANY kind–including gaming.

I didn’t always agree with Ziegler, but I never doubted he was a sincere and honest man who desperately cares about the cause of freedom. Talk radio and the unheard public who are sick of the Democrat/Republican owned Status Quo are all weakened by his loss.

Source: 1Up.com

Like a screaming child who’s come to the realization that he’s not getting his way, Sony’s now resorted to calling the DS names. That’s right, folks, Sony’s own Phil Harrison, VP of development, has now resorted to calling the DS “a gimmick”. Well, Phil, maybe it’s a gimmick, but if it is, it’s a gimmick that’s kicking your ass.

What amazes me about these interviews and these incredibly arrogant statements from the Sony camp of late (apparently Kutaragi’s head-in-ass syndrome is spreading) is that it never comes down to them doing anything wrong, making any mistakes, failing to meet the needs of the audience. No, with Sony it always comes down to the calling of names and assertions that the competition isn’t as good or now, that they’re defining feature is a “gimmick”.

This, of course, brings up some other questions.

For example, some might think that having MP3 playback or mini-movies on proprietary disks is a “Gimmick”. And they’d be right. One of the things that happens with every new generation of hardware is some kind of new angle, whether its technology or a feature that doesn’t necessarily need to be there for the gaming experience. In the previous generation it was DVD movie playback being built into the PS2 and Xbox. Did that enhance the gameplay experience? Not in the least. Nevertheless it became a defining gimmick for both PS2 and Xbox (though more so for PS2, as it released 2 years earlier), and people actually perceived it as being a feature missing from the Gamecube.

Perhaps you’ll remember the world-altering innovation of the “Emotion Engine”, which was supposed to give us “Toy Story-like graphics in real-time”. Or remember how it was so advanced that the Japanese
government wasn’t going to let it be exported? Remember how it was going to become a super-intelligent guidance system for high-end missiles? Of course, as it turned out, all these “innovations” and amazing features turned out to exist solely in the mind of Ken Kutaragi, who appears to be continuing his descent into senility and now taking poor Phil Harrison with him. Given the results of the “Emotion Engine” in the 6 years since it was introduced, I’d go out on a limb and say that it’s damn safe to call it a “Gimmick”.

In the end, certain features of practically every new gaming device (to say nothing of other products which suffer from the same malady) can -and should-be considered a Gimmick. For PSP, it’s playback of MP3′s and UMD’s is pure gimmick, through and through, and neither feature helps out gaming or improves/alters the gaming experience at all. Meanwhile the Nintendo DS’s dual screens have proven to be useful for helping developers create whole new kinds of gameplay experiences for some games and extending the kinds of experiences possible in others. The touch screen adds a new element of interactive possibility to games produced on the system (witness the just-released Nintendogs, a smart and innovative game that undoubtedly baffles Sony. It has something Sony tends to shy away from: uniqueness, to say nothing of fun).

Whatever else you can you can say about DS’s gimmicks, you can’t call its dual screens or touch screen gimmicks. These are options that affect, change and grow the possibilities of gameplay and the interaction between the player and the system.

Of course, Sony’s never been about innovation so much as repetition.

OK, so movie reviews aren’t generally our focus, nor do I expect that they ever will be. However, from time to time a biggie comes along and ought to be reviewed for the sake of completeness. One such film is
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, which just opened 2 days ago. To be succinct, I enjoyed the film very much, and I’d even go so far as to say that the only Star Wars movie I would think of as “better” is The Empire Strikes Back.

I don’t want to give anything away, but there are certain things we already know in advance. We know that Anakin goes all dark side and becomes Darth Vader. We know that Palpatine becomes the emperor. We
know that Luke and Leia are born and separated, and we know that Obi Wan and Yoda, the last two remaining Jedi, go into hiding to wait for a better time to overthrow the emperor.

What we generally don’t know are all the particulars of the situation, and this movie does a pretty good job of showing them to us. Unlike Episodes I and I,I the acting is decent (though not anything incredible; to be fair, there has yet to be a Star Wars movie with truly good acting) and the story moves along at a fairly brisk pace. If I would have any complaint at all it’s that it moves along sometimes too quickly, not giving us or the characters adequate time to reflect on or understand the situations as they happen. Of course, there’s the
view that if Anakin had a chance to think about what the hell he was doing he wouldn’t have turned to the Dark Side to begin with, and that’s certainly a valid point.

Like the previous films, the special effects are gorgeous, though some of the designs (the “concert” attended by the Emperor and Anakin is a good example) are a little cheezy, amounting to little more than gigantic primitive models with gorgeous textures moving about in semi-interesting patterns on the screen. The Lightsaber battles are numerous and well done, though none really stand out as amazingly better than any other. None of them suck, however, and that’s certainly something to be grateful about.

Some of the imagery (some of it merely suggested, in fact) is disturbing and really highlights that Anakin has indeed fallen to the Dark Side. A perfect example is when he goes to the Jedi Temple and slaughters all the Jedi children. Unfortunately we don’t get to see the actual slaughter, just the moments leading up to and following it. I do say that with disappointment, because I was actually looking forward to seeing children massacred on screen, but I guess the suggestion of such will have to do. Unfortunately what was less entertaining was the manner in which Anakin crossed over. Watch it and see.

All in all, I’d give the new Star Wars 3 out of 4 stars. The acting could have been better, but as Episodes I and II showed us, it could also have been much, much worse.